Enter No Pain Relief…

Most of the people I have known for longer than 5 minutes know that I have suffered from horrible, painful, sometimes debilitating migraines. For those of you who do not suffer from these horrible things, I would not wish them on you ever. I finally got M to quit saying he has a migraine when all he has is a headache. He never understood the difference, he thought, like many do that migraines are just bad headaches. They are not. Migraine is a neurological disease. I am new to this concept myself.

I switched meds recently after a phone call from my neurologist on last Tuesday. He called on a day where I had a level 10 migraine. I could not focus on our conversation. I forgot what I had already said to him and repeated myself several times in the span of a five minute conversation. So, much so he wants me to get an MRI done to find out why my migraines have changed so drastically after the birth of my daughter, Charlotte.

Some days my pain is manageable. Of course my manageable and yours might be slightly different. I am able to function with pain up to a level of about 8.5 or so. Now, that does not mean I am doing things well. I am not, I am just barely able to get things done. When I am at this level of pain, my brain is in a severe fog and I will forget what I am supposed to do or even what I have done already. Even if it has been only about five minutes. For me, the brain fog is the worst thing ever because I pride myself on my memory and the ability to know what I need to get done. Some days, honestly, I can not remember my own address or phone number.

Some of my other symptoms of my migraines are: sensitivity to light, sounds, smells, and even it can hurt to touch me. Lately, I have been dropping things more than usual as well. Which kind of is a bad thing when you have an infant who can not get from one place to another without me picking her up and moving her. Those times, I take it nice and easy making sure I have her wrapped in my arms and not in my hands. I also have been more clumsy than usual , tripping over my own two feet more than normal, tripping over small things that normally would not bother me, and tripping over nothing essentially.

There are days that I make it through the day okay and I seem okay and then there are those days that I made it through the day and wonder how on Earth I made it through. We are supposed to go grocery shopping this evening, doing that for me depends on where my pain level is at that point. It is not unusual for me to not go at the last minute because my head hurts so bad I can not take it. Sometimes, I force myself to go anyway and those days are horrible.

I feel bad for my kids because most days I am not the fun mom. My kids are too young to understand what is going on with me. My two year old does know that sometimes mommy is in pain and he will rub my head to make me feel better, which makes my heart melt and breaks it all at the same time. Today I have to wash the comforters on the bed. It has been a while since I have done that. The problem is that the wash cycle is forty-five minutes long and I will forget what I was doing and it will sit and get all icky smelling.. so I have to try and focus on that. It is hard to do when you have two small kids needing stuff all the time..

Laundry is calling.

-Ciao!

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