Christmas Was Christmasy

I have always felt kind of left out on Christmas. I am adopted as most of you well know and I always struggled with the holidays. I always felt like a third wheel on a date. I know that my family never intended it that way and they never actively made me feel that way, but I always did. My cousin and her mom got along really well. When I was a kid, me and my mom, not so much. I am not airing family laundry here, everyone knows that my mom and I were better off far apart. Back to what I was saying, I always felt, I am not exactly sure how to put it in words, but the closest I can is left out. Everyone had family that they belonged to and I never really felt like I belonged to mine. Ever. I tried talking about this with the numerous counselors I went to as a kid, but no one ever helped me deal with that feeling. So, carrying this feeling into adulthood, made me kind of meh over the holidays. When my two older kids were little, I tried so hard. I would put up a tree and we would decorate. Put lights up around the house. Mostly because I wanted everything to be somewhat normal for them. I never really saw the point of it, but when I saw their smiling faces looking at the tree and all the lights, I went with it. 

My kids now are young and they have no idea yet what Christmas is. This was the first year we had a tree. We are staying at the in-laws’ house so they put a tree up and lights and I saw those smiles and wonderment in the eyes again, so I know this was basically the last year that we can not do anything. So, here is to hope that this next year is a lot better than this one because honestly, I am not sure how much more we can take as a family. 

This year Christmas was good for the kids, mostly because of my mom and the other family we have. I was so appreciative because the last few years have been horribly lean at Christmas. This year Charlotte got overwhelmed at how many gifts she had to open this year. It was a sight to behold. Jeff loved ripping the paper off and shredding the bows like any little boy would. We had a good time Christmas morning. It made my heart lighter like it used to with the older kids. Hope your Christmas was good. I need to go take some meds and lay down!

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Crazy Times For Us

So, here we are at the end of our two-year lease where we live. It has not been all horribly bad even with the takeover by the people who threw us out of the first place. All in all, it has been pretty good. They have a great maintenance staff here and when you have an issue they are quick to fix it for you. The ACTUAL reason we are moving at the end of February is that they are raising the rent $250 a month because they renovated. That is way out of our price point. I have found two places, one we have an appointment on Monday to look at and I have to call the second place on Monday to see if we can go see it on Tuesday. One is here in Lexington, in fact, not far from where we live now. We were joking last night that we have lived in the same 5-mile radius since we moved here, this new place will fall into that. LOL.  The second one is in Georgetown, Ky. It is actually a bit closer to M’s work, so that is a plus. I am reserving my judgment until I see both places in person.

We have all been sick now for 4 weeks! Charlotte was at the ER on Wednesday because of wheezing, she has a nasty viral thing that will hang on for another week or two. Ugh. I am not sure I can hang on for another week or two! Jeff and M both also got this but M is back to normal and Jeff is almost back to normal. Charlotte and I are still sick for the most part, though. Charlotte goes to her doctor for a recheck on Monday after we look at the one apartment, so I am hoping that everything is still good. We shall see! 

Now, I have to pack this house up! I hate packing and unpacking! I am using this time though to go through stuff and get rid of stuff we no longer need or want, so hopefully when we move we move into the new place with less stuff!! We have also been looking at beds for Jeff (he sleeps with me in the bedroom currently, M sleeps in the living room with Charlotte) and a convertible crib for Charlotte. She is in that tough area of not really crib but too small for a toddler bed yet. Found a bed for Jeff that we all like, including Jeff and I told him that we would get special sheets and a comforter for his big-boy-bed. He was excited about that, he wants Micky Mouse Clubhouse sheets and I found the perfect set that includes a comforter. I will get a second set of sheets too to make life easy on me. We also found a nice crib for Charlotte with a mattress, and I looked at sheets for her too. So, we are planning on doing that after we move. We are thinking about getting a new bed for us as well if money permits. We shall see. 

I am excited to get into a new place with three bedrooms and 2 bathrooms!! It feels like a long road to get there, though. I am trying to make a plan, so that if the kitchen does not get unpacked the day of move in that we can have stuff we need. I told M that I wanted to pack a box that would not go on the truck with 1-2 cups for Jeff, Charlotte’s training cups and a couple of bottles, a couple of cups for us to use, forks and spoons for us, fork and spoon for Jeff and paper plates and plastic bowls. That way, we have something to drink out of, utensils to eat with and plates and bowls. Trying to not have to get so much plasticware. I think I have a bad full of plastic forks and stuff in the closet, I will have to see if so, I will throw a bunch of those in the box instead and then just take Jeff’s fork and spoon. 

On to some amazing news, Miss. Charlotte is cruising!! In case you have no idea what that is, it is pre-walking. She is using furniture and me to move from one place to another. She was not doing this a couple of weeks ago and I saw her do it on the couch and I was so happy! Now she is doing it a lot, which means that this momma will have her hands full soon!! She is getting so big and doing so well, even though we have not had any therapy in about four weeks because we have all been sick.

Jeff is doing well with his signing. I am hoping to get him into therapy this week, he got approved right in the middle of all the sickness! Ugh! It is almost over I hope. Life is still hard but some things are easier. I am still really tired but I think that is because I am still not feeling well. I have not been able to really run the business well because of this, but I do have a party scheduled for next Friday so hopefully that will help me out. 

Well, I think I am going to go for now. 

-Ciao!