Confessions and How Lucky I am

This is not going to be a usual kind of post for me, so if you want you can feel free to skip this one…

I have not been able to sleep a lot lately and I know why that is. Some is the pregnancy and the fun stuff that comes with it, but a lot of it is all these horrific videos about Planned Parenthood. First, let me say when all this started, I was on the fence because I was not sure where all this was going. It was one video and I had been to Planned Parenthood in the past for medical reasons and they had always been okay.. However, I had an abortion when I was 16 under immense pressure from people in my life.. These videos make me wonder what happened back then. There was an article that had claimed that PP had been doing all these horrific things for the last 40 years. That is when the nightmares began. 

I look at my son now and wonder what that baby could have been.. what that child could have accomplished. I know it was not my decision totally and I was essentially forced into it. I still share some of the responsibility. I am a very lucky woman, I have a wonderful soon to be husband, a healthy son, and a healthy daughter who will be born soon. So by all accounts, I have it all.. 

We have rough times and we have good times like everyone else. There are days that honestly I am so tired that I don’t think I can make it through another day, then I do. I love my active little boy and I would not change him for anything.. I see all these kids who are terminal and sick and I just tear up. I know some of it is hormones but I feel bad that these little kids have to deal with chemo and other things they should have no clue about. 

I need to go… My boy is dancing and I want to dance with him!