It’s Been Hard

I am struggling. I wish I could say that everything is all peachy and that California is perfect. It’s not. It is amazing in its own way and I love being here. I do love Woodland, but I fear that we will have to move some place else eventually because I am not sure if it is big enough for us all. Life for me has lost the color and texture it normally has. I am fighting every single day to just get up and take care of the kids. I am so tired at the end of the day and when M comes home from class early I rejoice inside because I can sleep. I really wish that I could say that I am sleeping more because the time change is hurting me, but we all know that would be a lie. 

I am not sure why I am struggling so much right now, but I have been. M is still looking for work. I have doctors for the kids, they are all amazing. I am really seriously blessed in that their primary care doctor is uber amazing and understanding. I was really worried about that. I have a great doctor myself and I see her Thursday. I think I know what she will say and honestly I dread it but at the same time, I am looking forward to it also. 

There is a lot of stuff happening behind the scenes that I can not yet talk about. I just wanted you all to know I am not dead yet. Just struggling to get every day done. I am hoping to be back normally soon, but I am not sure what toll this will take on me yet. 



A Random Post About Random Things

How is that for a title? I woke up this morning to M being in the shower getting ready to go to the local VA for the beginning of his tests for the med boards. Jeff was standing on the bed, which honestly is nothing new, the new thing this morning was he was lifting one foot to take a step! He was kind of close to the edge so I called him back to the middle of the bed because all I could see in my head was him falling off the bed. However, the almost step was not lost on me! My little boy will be walking soon I think!

Then things will really, really change because instead of chasing him crawling and I actually have a shot at catching him, I will be chasing him as he was scampering through the house! Time sure does fly! I do kind of miss the newborn baby he was that wanted to be rocked and held. Now he wants to flop on me and M and kiss us (his versions of kisses are open mouthed and pressing his 4 front teeth on my cheek as hard as he can!).

Speaking of newborns, it is all over Facebook and Twitter that Kate Middleton and Wills have named their daughter. Honestly, I don’t really care, but they picked a nice one and I was happy to see Diana in the name some where. It is a nice tribute to her I feel.

I can not believe May is here already!! Holy cow it is flying by! Today I start my Seamless Bible Study online with a wonderful lady I met on Facebook. I am so excited that I actually won the book because we just don’t have the money to buy things like that. So it was a blessing to me!

This week is diapers week because I opened the last package of the ultra dry ones and so on Thursday I have to order more but in size 3. According to the sizes he needs to be in 3’s now. So 3’s it is! Last week it was wipes… It is a never ending cycle I feel right now. But it is part of being a mom and I would not have it any other way.

I honestly can not wait until my doctor appointment. I am going to see if I can get some other testing done as well, maybe a new allergy test because the last one was when I was like 12 I think. Certain things have started bothering me that never have before and I need to know what to stay away from.

I am hoping that M can tell me what he wants for dinner because I honestly have no clue. Nothing sounds good to me. I think for Cinco De Mayo tomorrow we will have tacos. I have it narrowed down to either steaks or skillet lasagna.  Well, I think that is about all I have to ramble on about for now!