Happy New Year!

Well, to say that 2014 has been a rollercoaster ride would be an understatement! I am still honestly wondering where the time went! It seems like last week Jeff had been born and we were just starting our new adventure in parenting! Now he is 9 months old and his own little person! Whew!

I want to wish you all a very happy new year! If you are celebrating someplace outside of home please be safe out there. Do not drink and drive because we need you here! My hope for your 2015 is that it is as wonderful, hopeful, joy filled, and prosperous as can be!

I will tell you that I am not sad to see 2014 leaving. I am ever so hopeful for 2015 though. Living life with Jeff is never boring! He is teething so much more. Fussy does not even begin to cover it with him. I feel for him and I wish I could do more than what I am doing, which is orajel on his gums. Many have asked why I don’t give him Tylenol, mostly because he HATES it and fights it. He will spit it out and when he does that it is not going to help. So, I am saving Tylenol for things like after immunization pain, fevers, etc… So far, he has not run a fever that I can tell. He is naturally warm like his dad is, so it is hard to tell.

He has a doctor appointment coming up on January 6th. Boy will they be surprised by the teeth! He is continuing to teeth, I can feel another tooth on the top trying to make it’s way in. So the next few months will be busy! He loves all his new toys!

I am tired but my body is getting used to it I think. Michael is doing well, he is working today and will be off for New Year’s which is nice. I am starting a read the Bible in 100 days challenge tomorrow. I can not wait! I need to start making time for myself and that will be a goal for 2015.

Well, I need to run. I have to figure dinner out. Something with ham.


Christmas and Beyond

Christmas for us was uneventful. To me it was more like every other day than a holiday. The only difference is that Michael was home all day long. This year Christmas was blah. I know that gifts and all that is not the reason for Christmas, but it being my son’s first Christmas and honestly had not a bunch of wonderful people stepped up he would not have had anything for Christmas. It was that bad. I honestly was depressed because I wanted it to be special and it was in that we were all here together, but it did not have that special feeling. No tree. Some lights, but could not get them to stay up. No money. It just sucked big time. That is honestly how I am feeling about the latter part of 2014 as well. I can not wait to put this year in the rearview mirror and move forward.

Don’t get me wrong, yeah my son was born this year and he was about the only bright spot. In 2015, there is hope that it will be better than 2014. I have some resolutions that I have made for this coming year which I will share here.

1. I want to be more positive in 2015

2. I want to be a better wife and mom

3. I want to cook more at home than eat take out

4. I want to save money for our move (hopefully) in latter 2015

Those are totally doable with some help from Michael. I already talked to him about them and I am hoping he is on board. He never comes out and says ‘That is great!’ so I kinda have to guess.

It is about 12:30 am where I am while I am typing this. Everyone else is asleep and honestly I want to be too. Jeff has issues sometimes staying asleep after I get him to sleep so I stay up for about an hour or so to make sure he is sleeping well. He is teething right now, so he is out of sorts. He has 2 teeth already in on the bottom and one on the top trying to come in.

He has been fussy and I can totally understand. I have been trying to be extra patient with him and loving. I have horrible migraines so sometimes it is not all that easy for me too. I try to tell him that I love him more than I say no to him. He is so amazing! Crawling around like a crazy boy! Standing up unassisted for 30 seconds to a minute already. He will be walking soon.. and the time has flown by! In March he will be a year old!

I am wishing I had more time with the sweet newborn boy I had. Sigh. We are hoping to move into a bigger place when our lease is up where we are. Right now we are in a 1 bedroom 1 bath place and it is so small, but we make due. Michael is at Amazon until at least January 9th, which is good news for us because that means January rent will be paid and the bills too. I am constantly trying to find cheaper ways to do things such as cable and all. I am actually thinking that we might give up cable and switch to something like Chrome TV or Amazon TV and Netflix. It would so so much cheaper! Maybe do Hulu Plus too. Right now Time Warner is just insane price wise for what we have.

Okay well I am off to try and sleep, see if I can get my brain to shut up long enough to let me sleep anyway.


That Kind of Mom

I read an article on Yahoo yesterday that really hit home with me. The article was about this woman who is a mom to a 5 year old boy. She had been a ‘grumpy’ mom and let issues from her life seep in to her attitude. It came to be understood that her son picked up on it when her husband had told her what her son said about her. Something to the effect of we need to let mom sleep because she is grumpy. Now, the reason why this hit home with me is that I know for a fact that my worries, will we have money for rent, bills, food, etc… does seep into my attitude.  Honestly, it is hard not to let them.

But she said something that really made sense to me, she said that her son has one childhood and does she want him to remember it with a grumpy mom or a happy mom. I understand that. We all have daily issues that weigh us down, some more than others, but if you think that your kids do not pick up on your moods, you are wrong. Even young children can sense things.

So, I am going to do my best and work on not being the grumpy mom.. but a mom that my son deserves.

Almost Christmas

I know it has been a while since I last posted things here got really REAL if you understand my meaning. We were in a serious financial crisis and honestly we are not totally out of it yet, but working our way out. The reason I  mention this is because a) I told myself I was going to be more honest about things here and b) it leads to part of this post.

Because things have not been going our way for a while, we were looking at not having Christmas at all. Nothing. Nothing for Jeff. I was really incredibly upset about that. I don’t really care about myself, but I wanted to make Jeff’s first Christmas somewhat special. I know at 9 months old he will most likely not remember it, but I would. I was depressed. Then I mentioned our situation on Facebook, something that honestly I normally never do. So many people contacted me to help us out! I was amazed and very humble, so with the help of wonderful people, Jeff will have a Christmas after all.

I can never thank these people enough and I am blown away by people whom I have never met face to face wanted to help us. Some sent us some money, which was helpful. Some sent Christmas gifts and PJs. Others are sending clothes for Jeff . His grandparents are doing some for us and Jeff of course, but they have other grandkids to buy for.

Jeff for a long time was not eating baby food. Hated it. All of a sudden in the last two weeks he has been eating like a champ! Which is a relief to this momma, let me tell you! He has been eating so well that this weekend I am starting to feed him 2-3 times a day now. Before it honestly made no sense to force him because he was not understanding.

Jeff has started doing something that I absolutely hate! He has started screaming! High pitch shrieks in my face! Drives me crazy because he won’t stop. Ugh. Hoping this phase does not last much longer or I am going to need a nice padded room! 

I am so tired because Michael is working 10 hour days 6 days a week so it hard on us all. I am not getting enough sleep because while we were dealing with the money issues I was not sleeping hardly at all. So, my body is exhausted all the time. When Michael gets home, he has time to eat dinner and play with Jeff for about 10 minutes and go to bed. Which means I am the last one in bed every night after getting an extremely fussy baby to sleep and cleaning up the kitchen from dinner, most nights I am not in bed until about 1 am or so. Some days earlier and some days later.

I am not sure how much longer I can go on like this with out a break of some kind. Sundays are busy for us because it is our only free day together, so it is spent doing stuff around the house, laundry, etc…

Well, in case I don’t get to post before the 25th, have a wonderful Christmas if you celebrate and if you don’t have a wonderful holiday that you celebrate! Ciao!