No Real Update Yet, but Some Thoughts

I have a lot of friends on Facebook who have commented on my status updates about Charlotte and I am grateful for those words and people. Really I am. I know they mean well. Really I do. However, you are talking to a momma without her baby and telling her not to worry is kind of like telling the ocean to not be wet. Really it is. Worrying is a mom’s job. I do not have her home with me in my arms so yes I worry , when her numbers drop I rejoice but I worry that they will spike again. Like they did. When they spike I worry because I know that is not normal. See, I had 3 of 4 kids that had jaundice, including Charlotte. The others were over night or only a day or 2 stays at best. She is not.

There are other things going on here too that cause me to worry as well. I do not really discuss those on Facebook much because well… yeah. I do sometimes discuss them here and this is posted on my Facebook wall, but usually not every random game playing friend will read this, so I feel relatively safe talking about things here, not to mention it is my home and if I can’t talk about stuff here that affects the family where can I talk about it?

We are in dire need, but you would never know it. I am praying for a miracle every day and I know God is working in my life, but sometimes it is hard for me to sit still and wait. The incap pay from the military has not yet been approved that I know of. We ran into the holidays and I am not even sure it went to the board Friday. We need that money to pay the rent or we get evicted. I have to pay the bills or we have no lights or internet or food.

I am so not even ready for Charlotte to come home yet, I have no diapers for her or formula. I do have a WIC appointment on Dec. 8th but it is getting to that point. We have less that $10 in the bank at the moment. I am worried sick about all this stuff. Not to mention trying to recover from giving birth enough to take care of Jeff and deal with the house too. So much is piling up and sadly no we do not have family near by that can help. We do not really have many friends either. We are on our own. Which is hard in and of itself. So please pray or if you do not pray send some good thoughts our way cause we surely need them at this time. Oh yea, not to mention Christmas is around the corner. Sigh. I am just going to end this here before it gets to be a pity party.


Charlotte Update

Yesterday they had taken Charlotte off the lights because her bilirubin number was down to 13, which was wonderful news. They were expecting a rebound in that number after that because without the lights the bilirubin builds back up. She rebounded to 13.4 last night. Which was not bad and she was still under 14.

This morning when we called to check on her, her bilirubin number was back up to 19, which is not good. She is back under lights again. She is eating well and having full diapers, which is a good sign because she is getting the bilirubin out of her body. But the large jump in number has me a bit worried. I have to go take care of some things, I will keep you all updated as I know more.


My Worst Nightmare


Charlotte Under Lights

Overnight Charlotte developed severe jaundice. Her bilirubin number was 22.4 which was the highest they had ever seen. She was rushed immediately and put under lights. They took her up to the NICU and she is still in the hospital. She will be there for several days. Before I left I went to visit her and her numbers came down to 15 and when I called at 8:30pm she was down even further to 13.9 which is good! 

I will call in a bit to get an update and go see her today. I am having trouble sleeping now because this is not how all this was supposed to end. She is supposed to be here at home with us. I know jaundice is common, I had 2 now 3 out of the 4 kids had it just not this severe. Had they not caught it the bilirubin could have gone to her brain and caused brain damage. Which is hy I am so freaked out because it happened so fast. 

We would appreciate prayers and good thoughts that she is able to come home sooner rather than later. I need to go try and sleep some. 




Still Here!

Well, baby Charlotte and I are still in the hospital, hoping that we can go home tomorrow. She had a heart murmur that was not there yesterday so the pediatrician wanted her to stay one more day. I am having issues with pain in my legs which means blood clots usually.

I am so tired and honestly can not wait to get home to be able to sleep, maybe. LOL. Thanksgiving was okay, Jeff and M came up to visit us, but Jeff does not like the hospital and I can not really blame him for that. So he is not having any of me while I am here, it was so much worse when I had IVs in and was attached to machines.

To say that I am overwhelmed and overly emotional right now is honestly an understatement. I look at her and I cry sometimes. I am so happy she is here and she is amazing but sometimes I have to question my sanity! I am so exhausted beyond what I am normally and I have so much that is about to be going on with doctors for the baby. She did fail the second hearing test again, so now we need to see a hearing person. Ugh. I know it is common, but this is the first kid I have had to deal with this with.

Not to mention all the pediatric appointments every other day for the next couple of months. Although it might be different because she is being bottle fed, so she is not losing weight at all. So, hopefully it will not be like it was with Jeff, but we will soon find out.

I gotta run and feed Charlie..


I am Tired

I am so tired of not being able to sleep well lately. I just can not get comfortable and the heart burn is horrible every single night. I wake up from a sound sleep some nights with horrible heart burn. Not to mention that I am constantly hot. I am always trying to leave the A/C on, but since tonight it is going to be down into the 30’s I have the heat on so the family does not freeze over night. I am sitting here typing this and I am HOT. I would love to open a window or something but do not dare. 

I am so tired of doctors. In the week of Thanksgiving, I have 2 appointments on Monday, M has 2 appointments on Tuesday, we have an appointment on Wednesday, and thank God that Thursday is Thanksgiving and all my doctor offices are closed on Friday. I am due 12/6 which is fastly approaching and honestly I can not wait to sleep. 

I am going to go and try to lay down.. I am so tired. 



Hospital Story

So, I guess it is time to explain what exactly happened to me and why I ended up being admitted to the hospital this past Monday. My inlaws were here for about 2 weeks and when they left, my father in law was starting to catch something. I knew it was just a matter of time before I got what ever that was. And it was exactly a week. So, last Friday I had a sore throat and sneezing, it got progressively worst through the weekend, but I had a doctor appointment on Monday so I was holding out until then. By then I was having some trouble with my asthma. I went to the doctor appointment and was sent to the pregnancy triage area of the hospital. By then, I was having issues breathing and you could hear me wheezing badly. 

They admitted me Monday. Gave me a high dose of steroids in my IV and I was getting breathing treatments every 4 hours. One of the issues I encountered was that the steroids jacked up my slightly high blood sugars into the 200 point range, so they had to give me some insulin to bring it back down. The baby was being monitored the whole time and my oxygen levels were also being monitored very closely. I am happy to say we are home and I got new inhalers, but the issue is that they are the lowest dose and will take 1-2 weeks to work as needed. Ugh. I have 2 versions of the common cold and thankfully not the flu. Yeah, apparently there is a nasal swab test for the flu and if you can avoid it I really recommend it. It is painful. 

I have a doctor appointment for follow up on Tuesday. I am trying to take everyday as it comes. I was released late Tuesday night after the results of some tests came back. I am really hoping that I am healthy by the time I have the baby because labor is hard enough when you can breathe normally let alone when you feel like you have an elephant sitting on your chest all the time. I am trying to give the new inhaler time to actually start working but if I have trouble I will be going back to the hospital for more breathing treatments. I am also going to speak with the doctor about getting a nebulizer for the house just in case.

I also canceled my hematology appointment for Monday, mainly because it is at the cancer center and even with a mask, I would still have germs on my clothes and such and I am not comfortable going into the place where people are fighting for their lives this ill. I will reschedule when I am healthy again. Hopefully, I can stay out of the hospital for now, but we will see.